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  • Mindset Coaching

    What we think, we believe and act on that perception. Is it always right? Nope! There are many loop holes in our thinking pattern. As we direct our command by those patterns, we very often fall in trap of falsehood. We become judgmental towards others and every situation. most of the time without knowing the insight clearly. Let's join hands together to form an unique thinking which can lead to self improvement.

  • Social,Emotional,Behavioral & Special ED

    Psychological safety for students and teachers. Late learning, Inattentiveness, Undisciplined students may get bullied by others. Random bullying may force them to bunk school. Students with unnatural family background may hesitate to mix in groups, Students with lesser learning ability may feel shy to ask teacher repeatedly. School has the responsibility to identify in which tier of mental health the student belong & take necessary step to provide better emotional support, behavioral therapy and special education pack if required.

  • Life Coaching Session

    Put life into focus. Attain the best emotional level with simple and easy processes so that you can super perform your duties. Mental health is the most important objective to take care amidst complex living. What are you thinking? Join me and upgrade your living quality and emotional intelligence. Just drop a call and start the journey called transformation. Be a super achiever in life.

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Blog Posts (803)

  • Relationship Dynamics…

    Most of us think about relationship as romance. However relationships are all around us. How we interact, communicate and work with others is the foundation of our experience and it’s what creates dynamics of relationship. It’s a part of relationship development, relationship growth and relationship building. [ The word ‘dynamics” pertains to “the part of history of growth, change and development.”] Dynamics of healthy relationship. Pic courtesy: Google 1. Uniqueness :- Relationship is such a journey that it’s outcomes depend not only on specific qualities of each partner but also on the unique patterns that emerge when the partners’ qualities intersect. For example high level of mutual commitment lead to better wellness outcome. To the contrary, in relationships where one person has anxious attachment style & other has avoidant style, the anxious person is likely to have difficulties talking with the avoidant person about positive things. Because their thinking pattern don’t go in same way and somewhere they collide with each other. As a result core tendencies take active part in communication. 2. Integration :- Motivation and opportunities for independence tend to facilitate cognitive, affective, motivational and behavioral merging between partners. People in close relationships, especially over times tend to become blended together, losing some sense of individuality as their union evolves. Researchers have shown, for example, when people become closer, they tend to think in more complementary terms of their partners. 3. Trajectory :- The long term trajectories of relationship dynamics are affected by each partner’s continually updated perceptions of the couple’s relationship-relevant interactions and experiences. While various models of relationship change are based on different factors. Relationships generally go through developmental stages, analogous to individual development. Pic Courtesy : Google 4. Evaluation :- People generally evaluate their partners and relationships according to a set of negative and positive constructs which tend to be moderately inclined to negativity. We regularly evaluate world around us, other people, ourselves. Generally negativity and positivity are inversely related. Relationships can be more difficult is there are high levels of both positive and negative, creating ambivalence. Following Sternberg’s Triangular Theory of Love, for example, people may evaluate relationships based on passion, intimacy and commitment. Another influential perspective holds that relationship quality is reflected by evaluation on six dimensions, i.e. commitment, love, trust, passion, intimacy and satisfaction. If couple can recognize the evaluation (whether conscious or unconscious), they can function better and satisfactorily. 5. Responsiveness :- Responsive behaviors help to accelerate relationship qualities for self as well as partner. Mutual responsiveness is a key of strong bonding. Here partners support one another’s core values. Way of responsiveness is also an important factor. But if one of the partners is selfless and other one acts like tit-for-tat responding right away may be felt like dealing or transaction. In high mutuality, both partners feel safe and more positive. Though some attachment with behavior may affect relationship. Insecurity attached people may remain less responsive when their partners are upset. On the other hand insecurity attached people, when receive support from others, they tend to feel more insecure. Research shows that relationships with high level of support make people happier and healthier. 6. Resolution :- Manner of communication between partners determine relationship quality and stability. How couples address negative events during crucial time is important to build healthy relationships because negative events have greater impact than positive one on emotional health. How couples deal with conflict is specially important because how they interact matters most. Either it’s constructive or destructive manner or active or passive manner. Constructive and active approach to conflicts actually strengthen relationships by minimizing chance of break-up. [ research from Gottman & Levenson has revealed four behavioral patterns associated with relationship in trouble. “ Globally criticizing your partner’s personality, responding defensively to your partner’s criticism, conveying the belief that your partner is beneath you & refusing to engage with partner’s concerns.”] 7. Maintenance :- In committed relationships, how partners behave and exhibit cognitions create persistent relationships even if doing so involves self decepting biases. Maintenance needed for relationships over longer time period of time particularly. People are aware of their decisions they take to keep the relationship going, but a lot take place outside of awareness. When people make a commitment in relationship, they tend to see things differently and behave correspondingly including believing that their relationship is superior to others. Research shows that having an inflated sense of a partner’s positive attributes correlates with positive outcomes, as does interpreting their behaviors in a more generous light. Pic Courtesy : Google 8. Predisposition :- people generally bring certain basic qualities of personality and temperament to their relationships to influence their own and partner’s relationship well being. Even when they spend a long period of time in relation, those raw materials remain as strength and weakness of the relationship. For example, strength might include resilience, good self image or may be a secured attachment style. And weaknesses or liabilities may be greater neuroticism, difficulty handling rejections or avoiding tendency to cope with challenges of life. 9. Instrumentality :- It includes needs and goals people bring into relationships. The dynamics between partners determines the extent to which they succeed to reach the goals or meet the needs. It’s quite obvious that goals like child rearing and the need of bonding. These are shared goals. There are some personal goals or individual goals also. But people in successful relationships generally take care of each other, offer help to one another and increase overall efficiency. Studies have shown that people in relationship endure pain better while looking at partner’s photo which correlates with brain’s activity associated with safety and security. Actually people try to find ways to make use of one another rather than using one another. 10. Standards :- in order to enjoy greater relationship well being, people generally bring certain standards to their relationship. There are several relationship models which look at the role of standards in satisfaction and dysfunction. Research shows that unrealistically high standards lead to low relationship quality. Similarly high standards make far better relationships when they increase motivation and support self improvement efforts. A good relationship brings out the best from both the partners. Pic Courtesy : Google 11. Diagnosticity :- Situations in relationships may vary when they try to evaluate partner’s goals and motives towards relationship and it depends on their affordability of evaluation. As people tend to assess self and others, environment, external influences, ups and downs in daily life, individuals in a relationship try to assess how the relationship is going and what might be right or wrong. Stressful situations bring out the need of thinking about quality of relationship and positive areas of identity crisis. A “strain test” happens when what is positive for one partner requires huge sacrifice from other. Like a job change, when a partner has to move and the other has to pull out the root. The bigger the sacrifice, the lower the level of connection the sacrificing partner has where they are going, the greater the increase in trust and commitment. 12. Alternatives :- It’s a threat as well as a lifeline of a relationship. When attractive alternatives are present in relationships (including option for not being in relationship), threats quality and persistence. In cases like strained relationship, people start considering their alternatives. What could be different in relationship? Should we stay together? Would I be happy with someone else? Someone like colleagues or friends or ex? Should I stay alone to feel better? How we evaluate alternatives, varies with relationship quality. Highly committed people rate alternatives much lower than people in troubled situation. In such situation we generally downgrade lucrative alternatives to keep the relationship safe from identity and concentrate on current partner. Interesting development is that it may decrease the threat of being rejected by permitting alternatives and making them transparent to stabilize the relationship. 13. Stress :- Over demanding is a major stressor. It results in worse outcome in relationship specially when the demand exceeds the coping ability of both the partners. Though stress is an acid test for relationships, major stressors like unemployment, money issues, legal issues, serious illness, fertility problem and tragedies like disasters can lead to relationship breakdown and failure. Couples using adaptive coping strategies face cruciality at tough times. Studies has shown that when personal resources are depleted, people tend to act like more defensive and retaliate when their buttons are pushed. 14. Culture :- Relationships are embedded into social networks and a cultural surrounding including norms, practices and traditions. These factors shape the nature and trajectory of relationship. Time is ever changing and so as the social views that shape what people are looking for them and how to approach. Generally it varies with different locations and socio economic structure. Partners have to cope with the external changes first and then to reconstruct their practices. Hope this write up will reach someone who is desperately trying to improve the health of relationship. Above mentioned points are to he best of my studies and may differ for different person, situation, circumstances. If you find it useful, please follow me here or at Nirmalya Saha – Put life into focus or at Althought Waiting for your views…. #relationshipadvice #relationshipgoals #tantrums #relationshipcounselling #relationshiphealth #relationshipdynamics #relationshipmanagement #relationshipcoaching #relationshiplessons

  • Outline of Relationship…

    Nowadays we are talking more about relationships. Because nowadays the most disturbing factor for emotional peace is relationship. For last few days most of the cases I’m getting to deal with are related to relationship issues. As living is getting more and more complex day by day, people find it difficult to cope with pressure situations & ultimately land on some sort of conflicts which are affecting their conjugal life as well as overall relationship health. What, why & how are the most searched topics for all those who are passing through turmoil and other related troubles of self and partner. To get some good output, one needs to understand the insights and dynamics of relationship properly. Here I’m trying to narrate all these things in easiest narration. Generally we define relationship as the partnership between two people of opposite or same sex ( according to their sexual inclination). Being a social animal, we go though relations right from birth & interactions there affect our thoughts, attitudes, body language & other involvements. Say, you had a rough day at office, if you can’t recollect yourself before entering home, it’ll shape your upfront expressions which may drag your loved ones in firing line. Understanding partners can feel and absorb it but if there are some reasons on the other hand, your partner may retaliate & you both may have to face the consequences. Pic Courtesy : Google Relationship is an association between two or among people with intimate, platonic, negative or positive orientation. Relationship can be segregated into three different verticals like major, minor & variable. Major relationship includes family, friends, acquaintances and romantic relations. All first degree relations are major with whom we are emotionally involved deeply. Minor relationship includes work relationship, teacher-student, community or group relationship with whom we remain connected for a certain period of time with lot of mutual expectations and situational take away. Variable relations are another wing of major relations which have certain objectives to accomplish like codependent friendships, sexless marital relation & toxic family members. Pic Courtesy: Google Relationship according to psychology – It’s basically for what we generally call relationship i.e. romantic relationships. One framework for romantic relationship in psychology is Sternberg’s triangular theory of love. It identifies three main components of love as passion, intimacy & commitment. Passion refers to feelings of excitement and attraction, intimacy refers to feeling of closeness and connection, commitment refers to the ongoing decision to stay in and nurture the relationship. Depending on these three elements are present, a couple can find themselves in one of the seven different types of relationships. 1. Infatuation – Passion only. One sided affair or obsession with some big names or pretty face or celebrity. 2. Friendship – Intimacy only. 3. Empty love – Commitment only. 4. Romantic – Passion + Intimacy. 5. Fatuous love – Passion + Commitment. 6. Companionate love – Intimacy + Commitment. 7.      Consummate love – Passion + intimacy + Commitment. Pic Courtesy : Google Few questions to ask self & each other. 1. What do you want from this relationship? Something casual and in-the-moment? Something more future oriented? Not sure yet and just want to explore for new? 2. Are you looking for a long tem relationship? If so, do you see potential here? 3. Are you seeing other people? 4. How often do you want to talk and see each other? 5. Are the romantic feelings here? Are we interested in exploring those feelings? Or do we want to keep things more casual? Thank you for interacting. For more such brainstorms, please follow me here or at Nirmalya Saha – Put life into focus or at Althought #relationshipadvice #relationshipgoals #emotionalintelligence #socialanimal #mindsetcoaching #relationship #relationshipmatters #mentalhealth #relationshipmanagement

  • Strength…

    Do you know anyone sadistically obsessed? If you don’t, it’s not your fault. You didn’t identify what’s sadistic obsession is. ” I’ve all the problems in life.” ” Everyone does this with ease, problems hit my process only.” ” I’ve accepted my life as it is. I’ve no regret in it.” ” Man on the other side of the table is fortunate enough not to have a miserable life like me.” These are common statements most of the clients utter or think in their mind. Resultantly they grow stress in their mind & sadness starts to overpower all other emotions. However fascinating the news may be, the person can’t react wholeheartedly because his enthusiasm & pleasure are suppressed by sad thoughts. Ironically they think people living happy go lucky life are much stronger emotionally for not having any sorry affair in mind. Reality is something different. Emotional strength can’t be measured by judging a person’s upfront behavior. Everyone has sorrows in life, may be in different form and shape. Every heart breaks for numerous reasons. Strong is he, who can accept & recollect all the broken pieces to form a different outcome. Sadness can’t affect them for a prolonged period. They start to recover as soon as they start to reform all the emotional patches & ultimately land on much more positive platform. 🙂 A champion fails many more times than a looser because he practices many more times. That’s it!

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  • Home | Nirmalya Saha | Trusted Life Coach | Berhampore

    Nirmalya Saha™ Feb 23 1 min Completeness… #happiness doesn’t have any comparative metrics. Neither has any tangible connection. Most of the time we fail to identify when we get... 2 views Write a comment Embrace the Future with Nirmalya Saha Your Life, Reimagined In an effort to support clients make breakthroughs, Nirmalya Saha has created a method that is both belief- and behavior-based. It addresses the skill set as well as the mindset. I believe in providing an oasis for busy San Francisco residents to pause, to reflect, to tune in to their own greatness, so that they can regroup for their next leap forward. Empower Yourself Learn More About Me Trusted Life Coach Since 2018, I’ve helped my clients break through the obstacles that seem to be holding them back in life. Life's too short to be unhappy, unsure, or unfulfilled. Let me help you learn and develop better ways to handle the issues that are standing in the way of your goals. Get in touch today to see what I can do for you. Get in Touch Life Coaching Session 4 hr 3,000 Indian rupees ₹3,000 Book Now Relationship Coaching Session 4 hr 2,000 Indian rupees ₹2,000 Book Now Mindset Coaching 1 hr 30 min 1,500 Indian rupees ₹1,500 Book Now Psychodynamic Counselling. 1 hr 500 Indian rupees ₹500 Book Now Psychological First Aid 1 hr Starting from Rs.500 Starting from Rs.500 Book Now Social,Emotional,Behavioral & Special ED 500 Indian rupees ₹500 Book Now “Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear” Mark Twain Leadership needs courage. 1 Write a comment Bonding. 2 Write a comment Focus on self. 3 Write a comment 1

  • Blog | Nirmalya Saha | Trusted life coach

    All Posts #psychology hodophobia Motivational Brainstorming Search Nirmalya Saha™ 4 days ago 1 min Completeness… #happiness doesn’t have any comparative metrics. Neither has any tangible connection. Most of the time we fail to identify when we get ov... 0 views 0 comments Post not marked as liked Nirmalya Saha™ 4 days ago 1 min Thorns over Roses. X - "Wish life would be bed of roses." Me - Are you thinking likewise? X - Yes. Me - Seriously!! X - Yes man, what's harm in it? Me - You... 1 view 0 comments Post not marked as liked Nirmalya Saha™ 5 days ago 1 min Thank you… #gratitude is the best virtue a man can have. Being #greatful to all situations makes a man calm and happy. Be thankful to good times as w... 0 views 0 comments Post not marked as liked Nirmalya Saha™ 6 days ago 6 min Am I digging my own grave? On 9th of this month, when I was busy with consultation, there came a couple of my known sphere. After exchanging smile I indicated them ... 0 views 0 comments Post not marked as liked Nirmalya Saha™ Feb 19 1 min Companion vs Admirer. #friendship is the greatest wealth of life. Unlike other tangible material it has no depreciation. It's not perishable commodity. But, a ... 2 views 0 comments Post not marked as liked Nirmalya Saha™ Feb 19 1 min Companions vs Admirers… When you succeed, world comes to know who you are. But when you fail, you come to know your actual existence. As long as you’ll fly high,... 0 views 0 comments Post not marked as liked Nirmalya Saha™ Feb 18 1 min Reminder… No extra word needed. #Introspection #lifelessons #psychologicalsafety 0 views 0 comments Post not marked as liked Nirmalya Saha™ Feb 17 1 min Cause & effect… Nothing is ready-made in life except parental affection. Rest all you’ve to earn, even lessons. Not necessarily in lieu of money everytim... 0 views 0 comments Post not marked as liked Nirmalya Saha™ Feb 17 1 min Timing... #timing is very important aspect not only in cricket, but also in every aspect of life. We saw player like Viredar Sehwag, scored tons of... 1 vie